writings are in response to the short story “The Michelle I Know” by Alison
Lohans. None of these are true experiences of a real person, it is completely
fictional. If you want to read the true story it is on the following link. http://iblog.stjschool.org/stories/2011/09/13/the-michelle-i-know/
I hope you
enjoy these short journal entries representing a surprise day, a bad day, and a
July 27, 2011
I had the most
confusing and shocking day of my life today. Well, except for when I was
diagnosed, but I try not to think about that. Anyways, when I woke up, I had a
feeling I would have a great day, but then there was that nagging feeling in
the back of my mind saying be careful, anything could happen.
I picked up my mirror
to get a quick look at myself when no one was around, just as I do every
morning. I don’t really know why I bother, I mean, it wasn’t a surprise. I saw
that same pale, hollow face starting with sunken in eyes staring back at me,
just as it does day after day. I guess I keep hoping that something will
miraculously change overnight, but it never does. Nothing in my life ever does.
Just as I set the mirror down, I heard the best noise in the world; Rob’s
The two best words
ever! Every time I hear them, my day is brightened. Anyways, as it turned out
Rob had come to take me to the fair. The fair! I gathered my stuff and headed
out the door with Rob. My Rob. Not Vanessa’s Rob, as I thought; MINE! And only
The fair was
gorgeous, the weather was gorgeous, and even I felt gorgeous.
For the first time in a long time.
I have a hard time remembering what all the day held, but I
knew it when my fantasy ENDED. It was just after Rob gave me that stuffed panda
bear. The same one that now lies at my bedside. My HOSPITAL bedside. I was so
excited that we were finally spending time together once again. Thing were
maybe starting to be NORMAL again. But NO, normal would never happen for me. My
stomach started to feel sick. WORSE than ever.
And I got a bit shaky, and light headed.
I blamed it on the sun.
that was until I passed out.
The next thing I remember is being, once again, jabbed with
needles. And holding onto something for dear life. Rob’s hand. And Brenda, she
brought me this, my journal, before the lights were shut out. But why? Was this
the end? Is that why Rob took me out today? Does everyone know something that I
am yet to figure out?
Oh, why do I even care. I’ll never make it. I’m too tired
to fight with fate. I may as well accept it now. Everyone else has. Haven’t
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I would’ve been
better to give up. So why didn’t I? I was foolish. FOOLISH. Because I believed
in that glimmer of hope I once saw, and it has since disappeared. HE has since
one who I had clung to when I had nothing else. Is all gone. Forever.
I even ask? It was dumb of me. All I wanted to do was have a nice relaxing walk
through the hallways. Brenda and I. It was good. We were talking about life and
how well I was finally doing after the little scare last week. How I had
recovered without any difficulty. Then we passed HIS room. I asked if we could
stop and say hi. Brenda’s face dropped. She told me we had no time and we had
better get back to my room. She grabbed my arm. I ripped it away and pushed the
door open in fury. It was empty. The room was EMPTY! I started to smile, and I
only could say two words. He recovered. He was actually all better! I was soooo
happy! But Brenda wasn’t. She only shook her head and lead me back to my room.
When we got there she explained about what really happened to Claude. He was
gone. Not only out of the hospital, but gone, for good. Claude had died. DIED.
Everything that gave me hope was gone.
sat back in my room, depressed and in shock. I waited to see if Rob would come
to visit. But he didn’t. Of course. Why would he? He had no reason. I was UGLY.
Yeah, that’s it. The reason he didn’t come to see me. I continued to wait. NO
ONE came. When Brenda’s shift was done, she left. Different nurses came in. All
grumpy. No one cared. All they could think about was getting home. Not me.
Getting home. Well I won’t get home for a long time. Nothing went my way today.
It was terrible. I hope the rest of my days won’t ever be this bad. EVER. I
honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to take it if this keeps on going on.
It was an absolutely
perfect day today, in every way. The only thing I could have wished to make it
better would be for me to be cured. But I’m not. Early in the morning I was
lying there looking out the window at the shining sun. It was perfect. I
honestly don’t think it could’ve been any brighter. It made everything appear
to be glowing. As I was staring out the window, I heard footsteps come
alongside my bed. I knew those soft footsteps, it was Rob. Rob! He came to
visit, but it wasn’t one of his normal visits. No, this time he had something.
Flowers! A bouquet of flowers, all for me. I couldn’t believe it, I don’t know
if I have ever been happier!
Rob stayed with me
for a long time, but it was good. I didn’t feel tired at all when he was with
me. Brenda came in and out occasionally, just to check on me, but nothing was
wrong. Rob was with me, how could it be bad? Rob had dinner with me and then
shortly after we finished eating he left. He didn’t want me to be too tired for
the rest of my day. I thought this was kind of strange, but I didn’t care, I
needed to rest. In a while I opened my eyes and saw Brenda looking down at me.
I was immediately worried that something was wrong. When she saw the concern
that must have been written all over my face she smiled and told me that I had
some more visitors. All of a sudden the door opened and people came piling in.
It was my friends. I couldn’t believe that they had all come to visit me! I was
so excited, they had actually come to visit me! I hadn’t seen so many of them
in a long time. Some of them had flowers, some had cards, but almost everyone
had a smile. They stayed and visited me for a long time, well until Brenda
kicked them out! She said that I needed some more rest, she thought I was
getting overwhelmed! I couldn’t believe it, they had all come to visit me. I
couldn’t imagine how this day could get any better.
When I woke up from
my second rest, I felt great, even though it was almost 9:00 at night! Brenda
was once again by my bed and I couldn’t figure out why she was still here, her
shift must have ended almost an hour ago! But Brenda had something behind her,
and she had a weird look on her face. My insides were shifting, I couldn’t
figure out what was going on. But then I saw it, a guitar. Claude’s guitar.
Brenda said that he left it for me when he passed. She said he wanted me to
have it and possibly learn to play it. I was so touched. He left it for me.
When he could’ve left it for anyone, he chose me. Me! Who he had only met a
little while ago. When I finally fell asleep for the night, I had a smile on my
face, I didn’t ever want this day to end!